Tatyana-LonelinessI'm stupid. So stupid. A childish curiosity and experiment left me like this. Left me with this gaping hole in my soul, this gnawing void that yearns to be filled, but will not. Can not. I try to fight it, push it back, but I just look like a drunkard choosing their next drink. These thoughts run through my head, as I'm curled up with someone not even my own species. Like a bicetaeramn... no, like the customer of a bicetaramtn, I seek companionship, my body crying for physical affection. No, not just physical... I've known the usajin boy in my arms for several months. Shortly after I came to this town. Just two weeks ago I was pulled into his bed, by his words, his kindness, his soft hair... And my own mistake so long ago. Perhaps its the part of me from being raised human that's ashamed. Perhaps it is my nature as a sinfin knowing the wrongness of the situation. A purring sound comes from the warm, naked body that I'm gripping, and comforting words. There's no way he could know why I cry in the night like this. He won't ask, though, because he knows I won't answer. For how frank and open I am in everything else, my loneliness will never be known. Perhaps one day, I will be able to fill the void in my soul permanently. For now, my yearnings can be assuaged with simple flesh... |